Giving Thanks

Today was a great day.  We spent time with family.  We ate good food.  We talked and laughed and had a grand old time playing with kids and little babies.

 

I'm thankful for these two turkeys and that they love their baby brother.

 

 

 

I'm thankful that these little boys get to grow up together and be best good friends.

 

 

 

I'm thankful that this boy married me and helped me get three more boys that I like a lot.

 

 

I'm also thankful for these folks - my sister and her family and my brother. I don't know what I'd do without them. Or, my parental units. I don't know what I would do without them, either.

I'm thankful for Ross' parents, and his grandparents.  For Parkie Warkie, his mom, and all my other aunts and uncles and cousins.  I'm thankful for all the family that helps me to take care of my little chillin's.  I'm thankful that I live in North Provo and that I've got a great home, a car that works, and some sweet cooking and baking skills.  I'm thankful that I get to teach relief society on the third Sunday of the month, and that I believe all the grandma's in heaven are looking down on me and my family from above.

I'm a lucky, lucky girl.  And I'm thankful for that, too.

Birds!

This afternoon, my three boys and I were stir crazy.  The big boys had waited too long for a friend to eat lunch and were certain his mom had made him take a nap.  The little brother was restless and burrowing into my shoulder.  I felt like my skin was crawling with bugs.

You know, a typical day at 2:00 in the afternoon.

So, we loaded into the car, rain boots and all, and headed to the hobby lobby for some 50% off early Christmas cheer and crafts.

The boys were good.  They asked to drive past our old house on the way home.

I obliged.  She looked good.

Then we decided to drive past the lake.  Boy number 2, in the middle of his 1000th rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star crashed in the back seat.  Out like a light he was.  Daylight savings time is still killing him.

Anyway, Elliott and I noticed while driving by the lake that it was full of birds.  Geese, ducks, seagulls, all sorts of feathered and flocking friends.

When we got to the northern most part of the lake, it was full, literally full of all kinds of fowl.  With two boys asleep in the car, the big brother and I decided to get out and take a picture.  To one side of us, was a body of water chock full of all manner of quackers (the picture however doesn't do it justice).

To the other side of us was a makeshift gravel parking lot with at least 1000 seagulls just doing their gull thing.

As we turned towards them, walking slowly to take our picture we discussed why we were being careful. I mean seriously, who wants to get 1000 pigeons all up in their face with a start. No matter though because as careful as we were, the guy who had been taking pictures next to us got into his truck and drove right up to all those gulls and startled the living crap out of them.

And quite literally right into our faces.

Elliott and I screamed and screamed. We laughed. We ducked. It was awesome and absolutely terrifying all at the same time. We started to run but stopped because it felt like the birds were chasing us. Elliott yelled, "mom, cover your head so they don't poop on you!"

When we got back into the car, both out of breath, we laughed the rest of the drive home because we decided that if what had just happened to us had happened to Wyatt, he might have peed his pants and then died.

Stuck in a rut....

I'm sure that if I were to flashback to the first months after Wyatt was born, my feelings and thoughts would be the same as they are these days.  I know back then I was completely stricken with intense anxiety and went on Prozac for 6 months.  I know I was overwhelmed trying to figure out two kids and felt completely ignored and under appreciated in all aspects of my life.  I know that I was a little depressed about being super overweight and jiggly.  My skin was sensitive and I had a strange numb spot in my back as a side effect from my spinal for surgery.  I was also completely fried because I had a job, didn't get any maternity leave, and was totally losing my mind.

When Wyatt was three months old I sucked it up and went to a doctor, figured out how to calm down a bit, and just tried to enjoy being a mom.  I never took all the xanex he prescribed for me.  I still have two left, three years later.

Now, I'm in the same position.  I have an almost three month old at home, with two other children.  Overall, adjusting to three has been smoother than my adjustment to two kids.  It's totally overwhelming and requires my maximum organizational and list making skills at all times, but things are working.  They are working better than I ever could have imagined them to work.  I'm on blood pressure medication.  Most of the anxieties I had adjusting to two children are present again with three children, but I think I'm handling it better.  I know I'm still a little depressed about how I look and how I feel but I just don't have time to think about it - I've changed my hair color and chopped all my hair off, that's helped a bit.

This time though, I don't have a job adding unnecessary stress to my life.  Just the second of a series of kind of boring online classes that I'm taking.  I still need to go to a doctor because I'm almost out of blood pressure meds, I've got some serious back aches and even 11 weeks out of having a baby, my ankles and hands are still swollen.

But....

But.....

Life is good.  Once I ignore how uptight I am and how grumpy I am and how completely stressed out and exhausted I feel nearly every second of the day, its easy to realize I'm such a lucky girl.

I have three little boys who love each other.  And two big brothers who show absolutely no sign of getting tired of their baby brother, the massive amounts of my time that he demands, and the smells that come out of his rear end.  They still want to love and hold and talk to him every single day.

I still manage, just barely, to come up with enough crafts and projects to keep the big boys happy. Thank heavens I remembered about painting snow from last year.

I have the sweetest newborn in the entire world who just figured out how to stick out his tongue, nap a little bit, and last night he slept in his crib for the first time. He slept from 9:30 pm to 5:00 am. Awesome baby boy.

I also have a hot chocolate machine, a really smart brother who got accepted to the University of Kansas School of Engineering two days ago, and a super awesome family.

Its hard to be honest about feeling like a wreck.  About feeling like a failure.  Yeah, i still get up, get dressed, comb my hair and put on make-up and tackle my list daily but its a struggle every morning I tell ya.  My grandma always used to say that if you were sad or bummed out to fake being happy and if you faked it long enough, eventually you'd believe it.

It's probably time I take that advice to heart and give it a try.

Jubilee Tour

Last week, November 8th was my dad's birthday.  My husband reminded me that evening as I drifted off to sleep that November 8th is also the anniversary of us getting engaged.  We were engaged to be married 10 years ago.  He told me that he remembers what I was wearing that day.  I don't.  I remember getting engaged, and that I took the rest of the day off of school, and that evening, after letting my mom take our picture, we went off to look for a place to live.

Anyway, 10 years.

That feels like such a long time.

How do you celebrate 10 years?

Knowing us, when April 19 rolls around, we won't be doing much, that's for sure.  It's not easy to ditch three kiddos, one of them very little, to do anything.  We haven't done a single thing together sans kids since the week before Quinn was born.  We don't even really know how to talk to each other these days because I'm moody, and my sister wife always seems to be in the way.  Oh, and we have three kids demanding constant attention.  That might have something to do with the lack of communication, too.

Anyway, the Queen of England just celebrated her diamond jubilee - 60 years on the throne.  There is a  golden jubilee for 50 years and a silver jubilee for 25 years.  There is not unfortunately, a jubilee for 10 years and since 1) I'm not royalty and 2) no one is celebrating my years of marriage it doesnt' really matter but I think it should I'm going to come up with my own jubilee tour.  I think that since the 10th anniversary is Tin that I'm going to celebrate the....

wait for it.....

Tin Jubilee.

Awesome, yes?

So let the celebration planning begin.

Quinner: 2 months

Okay little buddy - two months have just flown by.  Before I know it, you'll be three, then five, the 18 years old and my baby will be on a mission to some far away place without his mama.

Oh boy!

Yesterday was your two month appointment.

The stats:

15.15 pounds

23 1/4 inches long

41 cm head circumference

This puts you in the 60th percentile for height and off the chart for weight, just like your brothers.  For the sake of comparison, at 2 months old, Elliott weighed 16 pounds and Wyatt weighed 14 so you are right in the middle.  It makes sense, you are an eating machine.  Whereas your brothers at two months had graduated to 6 and 8 ounce bottles, eating less frequently during the day, you are drinking 4 ounces every 2 hours almost like clockwork.  I told your dad a couple of weeks ago that I think you are going to be the biggest of our boys.  Elliott will be tall and skinny.  Wyatt will be average and husky and you?  You will just be big, big big!

You remind me of your brothers so much.  Besides looking exactly like them, you have so many of the same patterns and routines.  You are alert and awake all of the time, napping hardly at all.  You are the king of the 20 minute cat-nap and if I'm lucky, you'll crash for an hour or so in the swing once in the afternoon.  You do not like to lay down, but prefer to sit up and soak in all the world has to offer.  You hold your head up perfectly, claps your hands together and have discovered that sucking on your fist is a pretty good way to pass the time.  Your favorite places to be are sitting on my lap facing the world or perched on my shoulder with a birds eye view of life.

Just like your brothers, you are insisting on growing up too fast and it's killing me.  I love it!  But, it's killing me.  The little snuggle butt of a few weeks ago has already given way for a man about town.  

The last month has been great.  You have a pretty good routine, thanks in part to the schedules of your brothers and you are eating well.  Thank heavens too, that the feeding frenzy of the first month has slowed down and I can actually get a few things done because you aren't starving all the time.  You are sleeping well, going for 7 hour stretches at night.  Daylight savings has messed up a bit the last couple nights, but you really are doing well.  The evenings bring a little bit of fussiness, but nothing like either of your brothers.  That is a blessing too.

A little over a week ago I noticed that your belly button looked strange.  I had the family nurse, Uncle James look at it, and he said that it was a remnant of your umbilical cord, that it had kept growing.  The official term is "Umbilical Granuloma" and you are going to have to have it surgically removed.  It looks like a little red button so I'm sure (and hopeful) that the procedure isn't too complicated.  We need to call and schedule an appointment with Primary Children's Pediatric surgery unit next week to get it take care of.

Other than that, you are healthy and happy.  For Halloween, you were a "fat baby" and lived up to your costume remarkably well.  You have started to smile and coo and talk to us.  I'm pretty sure that after your bath is your most favorite time of day.  There is nothing better than being naked, peeing on the bed and being completely doted on by your mama and brothers (when they are around) to get a little guy talking and even laughing a bit.

I am 100% convinced that you are the peacemaker in our family.  When the big iggies start to fight, you get fussy and they stop.  When I yell at them to stop wrestling and killing each other, you curl your bottom lip and start to cry.  When dad carries you around you stare and study his face, his voice, and he is the miracle baby carrier - he has not yet failed in getting you to sleep in the evenings by lugging your chubby little self all over the house.

Your brothers still adore you.  Your cousin Molly tries to squeeze your head, and your cousin baby Jack just stares at you with wide eyes.  I know that the two of you will be good friends.  Grandma Connie told us that cousin Isaac in Arizona calls you "Lightning McQuinn" which we've started to call you at home, too.  I cannot wait for your Arizona cousins to meet you - you'll love them, too.

On Sunday, you were blessed by your dad.  He did a great job.  I think that there were 12 priesthood holders in the circle, and about 60 people at church to witness the blessing and support you and our little family.  It was such a beautiful day.  I know that your grandmas who took such good care of you in heaven were watching from above, wrapping us in their love.

Oh my boy.  I love you so much.  You are my baby forever and ever and I am so glad you are with us.

Quinner: A blessing

Today, Sunday November 4, 2012 Quinn Theodore received a name and a blessing in church. Out of a possible 81 family members who could have attended and supported our little family on this day, we had about 60 be able to come.

 It was such a beautiful day of family and fun and excellent food and blue skies. Last year at this time there was snow on the ground and this year, we were blessed with a beautiful fall day.  The food was divine, the company lively and after the last person had left, Ross and I were exhausted and our children (minus Quinn of course) were on a sugar high to beat all others.

I love all my family so much.  They are so kind and wonderful that it just makes my heart full.

Today was a perfect day!

People say they look alike...