35 days

Exactly 5 weeks from today, a mere 35 days, my brother will return home from his two year mission in Lithuania.  He has finally started to hint, just a little, in his letters that he will in fact be coming home.  He has received notice from the "U" that they are waiting for him to return.  He is the topic, or falls into nearly every conversation my boys and I have with each other.

I think I've posted this statement before, but according to my mom (and I wholeheartedly agree), this brother of mine is the "glue" that keeps our family together.  Well, when the glue is gone for two years, things don't really fall apart, but sometimes, the hole that is left in his place feels really big.  Too big to fill up any other way.  I've been an emotional mess lately - not worth mentioning really, but I think that in several aspects of my life, the word "Basket-case" is written in bold letters across my forehead.  One night, a week or so ago, after unloading yet another basket-case full of worry onto my husband before we fell asleep (perfect timing, right?) he said to me, that I need my brother home.  That I'm done missing him and I just need him back, where I can see him and talk to him every day.

I know that I miss him more now, on the cusp of his return, that I did when he left.  In my mind, I can see him coming down the escalator at the airport, doing his little fake yell/scream with his hands waving in the air, dropping his stuff and charging for my mom, then my dad, then if he goes in sister age order, me.  But I'm sure that the kids will attack him first.  It's so exciting to think about and talk about, and shed the happiest little tears about.

So close.  Closer every single day.