Typical Day

4:00 am: Feed Baby then go back to sleep (hopefully)
7:00 am: Get up with baby, feed baby, watch "Dawson's Creek", shower
8:00 am: Play with baby, give baby a bath making sure to get in between all his rolls of fat
9:00 am: Go outside and look at flowers, play with baby, wait for baby to get grumpy and tired
10:00 am: Feed baby and baby falls asleep. Watch "a baby story" on TV
10:30 am: Start working (grading online classes)
12:30 pm: Finish work, eat a fast lunch and wait for baby to wake up.
1:00 pm: Feed baby
2:00-4:30 pm: Play with baby, take baby for a walk, look at flowers, do some laundry, wait patiently for dad to come home.
5:00 pm: Our dad gets home and takes the baby from the mom and watches "King of the Hill" or baseball, or both.
5:30 pm: Mom fixes dinner and eats it by herself, usually standing up. Baby screaming at dad because he doesn't like evenings.
6:00 pm: Dad eats and gives screaming baby to mom. Give baby special colic drops to try and get him to stop screaming.
6:30 pm: Dad cleans up dinner dishes and mom rocks screaming baby to sleep, momentarily. We all go upstairs into the baby's room...the new family room. We watch "Seinfeld" and wait for the baby to wake up.
7:00 pm: A): Grumpy baby wakes up and gets excited because we take his clothes off and let him hang out in his diaper. B): Grumpy baby wakes up even grumpier and screams.
7:30 pm: Mom gets to work and dad takes care of baby with the undetermined temperment
8:00 pm: Put formerly grumpy now happy baby's pajamas on and feed him cereal. Watch baby eat cereal frantically. Dad and baby watch "CSI: Miami" while mom works.
8:30 pm: Feed baby what is left of his bottle that didn't get mixed into the cereal. Watch baby's eyes get heavy.
9:00 pm: Put "sleeping" baby in bed. See "sleeping baby's" eyes open wide as soon as his head hits the mattress because he decides he is no longer sleepy. Turn on mobile that plays Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach. Dad and baby watch "CSI: Miami" again while mom keeps working.
9:30 pm: Mom done working, ready to help with baby, or get ready for bed herself.
10:00 pm: Still waiting for "sleepy baby" to fall asleep. Restart mobile. Trying to teach baby to sleep on his own.
10:30 pm: Still waiting...
11:00 pm: Decide to feed sleeping baby again. He can't finish his bottle because he is so sleepy, but this time, he stays asleep when his head hits the mattress.
11:15 pm: Go to bed. Wait for cycle to start all over again.