I love my husband...

I love my husband very much! I think that he is a better husband and dad than a lot of men I know in his same position. He watches too much football, but doesn't play video games and isn't a dungeon master (except in his fantasy leagues). He takes night duty every evening and gets up every night with the monkey and lets me sleep. I really appreciate that. Lisa sent me this e-mail the other day and I thought it was funny. Funny enough to put on my blog today because I can't think of anything better to write about.

And, last night, Ross did drive my brand new beautiful car into the bar-be-que and dug a deep trench into the front bumper. That wasn't good.

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Subject: Installing Husband 1.0

Installing Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance
-- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, Nascar 2.0 and Golf Clubs
4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail.

What can I do?
Signed, Desperate



Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.html" and try to
download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If
that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You
might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support