Weighing in: 7 long months

I'll admit, as I've done many times before, that I am a slave to my scale.  It's my worst enemy, especially at the doctor's office and the gym, and I've learned not to trust those.  I also know that in a day, my weight can fluctuate easily by five pounds depending on what I've eaten, the weather, my mood, and a million other factors.

That being said, yesterday morning I hit an emotional high, with a new low on the scale.  Finally, after 7 longs months of insanely hard work - long mornings in the gym, working with a trainer, counting calories, cutting out almost all dairy, grains and gluten and 90 percent of sugar, I am finally at the weight I was at in December 2011 when I found out I was expecting Quinn.

But yesterday, after seeing that number on the scale, while I was walking around the lake with two of my little munchkins I had a couple of epiphanies.

1) I have worked really hard.  Minus being pregnant, which was largely out of my control but very hard work nonetheless, I have worked harder on my overall health and fitness since October 2013 than I have on anything else in a very long time, if ever, minus babies.  It's a daily process that doesn't get any easier, but it's still something that I need to keep doing.

2) Because of all that hard work, I need to give myself some credit.  Being a diabetic puts some major roadblocks in front of me, but I'm still doing it.  I keep pounding that dumb scale into my head because it's hardly budged in months.  But, in the big picture, since October, I've lost 18 pounds, lost over 6 inches on my waist alone, am leaner and meaner and am the most physically fit I've been in more than 10 years.  That's something to be proud of.  It often doesn't feel like a lot, but I need to give myself some credit.  I'm going to start trying to do that.

3) I've kicked a lot of bad habits.  Tortilla chips don't taste as good any more, but green beans taste better.  Sugar isn't as satisfying as it used to be and I think I'm finally ready to pass on pizza all together because even one slice immediately makes my stomach upset and bloated.  I am finally starting to realize that there are  foods that make me sick and even though they taste good, they just aren't worth eating, and that I am in charge.  No one is twisting my arm to eat that crap.  It's my decision.  It's my choice to say no to the cupcake or the doughnut.  When I have the chance to eat sugar, it's going to be heavenly and divine homemade sugar!  Even Diet Coke doesn't quite hit the spot like it used to, so I'm considering putting the kibosh on that habit as well, just to see what happens.

4) My healthier eating habits are changing my life.  My hair is softer and fuller and falling out less.  My skin is clearer.  I sleep better.  Even though I still get stressed out every single day, I feel like just in the last two weeks, I'm not yelling at my boys as much and am more rational with them.  I feel like I'm nicer to my husband, in turn he's nicer to me, and that I like him a lot more (and I already liked him a lot.)

5) I don't want to ever be pregnant again.  Just had to throw that one out there.  I've been batting the idea of another baby around for months, but just in the last little while, it's hit me like a ton of bricks that I cannot do that to my body and mind again.  Besides the fact that I could completely fall apart physically, my little family is just about perfect and I need to be healthy to be able to take care of them.

Now, I'm not about to be some health nut.  I'm not going to go and adopt a Paleo diet and even though I just finished reading, "It starts with food", I'm not going to jump on the Whole30 bandwagon or start drinking green smoothies like it's my job.  There are a few more small changes that I'm going to make.  I'm ready to change my exercise routine (and I need some suggestions!) and might just take it outside for long walks every morning instead of sweating it out in the gym.  I really need a break - mental and physical break and the summer time seems like the perfect time to do that.

But, it's really nice to know that on the rare occasion when I've given in to a fast food craving in the last few months, that In-n-Out has never tasted so good.

Anyway - I need to remember that life is good.  That my kids and husband are great.  And that you spend your time doing what is important to you - and what is important to me are my people and I want to be with them - and be healthy for them.