Do you know what today is? One year ago today, I figured out that a little baby would be joining the family. There are many days I won't forget in my life, but this day surely tops the list. Last year on May 30, I was driving the work van to St. George to teach a two day class. I hadn't felt well for a few days, but ask anyone who knows me and that is pretty standard quo. "I don't feel good", and "I'm tired" are pretty much always coming out of my mouth.
As I was alone in the car w/ NPR a thought popped into my head. The more I kept trying to ignore the thought, the stronger it was. I was alone with that thought for about 5 hours, in the white mini van. The thought was a little terrifying, but the fact that I couldn't get it out of my head was even worse.
Once I arrived and unpacked a bit I decided that I couldn't deal with the thought anymore so I headed to Walgreen's to purchase a very important, life changing test to settle things once and for all. Luckily, I was alone, in a city a couple hundred miles from home, so I didn't worry too much about being seen or embarrassed. Still, I bought about $50 worth of stuff I didn't need just to be safe. I bought toothpaste, deodorant, a Glamour and US magazine and headed back to the lonely hotel room. It was just me, my purchases, and the fast food I picked up at an Arby's that was on the right side of the street.
I ate, flipped through the magazines, brushed my teeth and sat on the bed reading the test directions a million times. The package I bought had two tests and once I felt confident I knew what to do, I took the first test. I left it on the bathroom counter of my hotel room and waited patiently. It was only supposed to take 1 minute or less, but I waited 5 or so, scared to death of the result, which ever way it turned out.
The test I bought said the word for my potential condition. No blue lines or plus signs, but the actual word. After my 5 minutes were up, I walked into the bathroom, shaking a bit and completely sick to my stomach (That however, could have been the curly fries). I looked down at the test on the stark white counter top and...got the word. I had no idea how to react. I just stood in the bathroom for what felt like hours, staring at the results. I smiled a bit, got extremely sick to my stomach (definitely wasn't the curly fries), and threw the test away, deciding that it was a false positive and I'd take the other one in the morning.
Sleep didn't come so easily and after a rather fitful night, first thing the next morning, I took the second test. Rather than leave the room, I watched it countdown to give me the results. I got that word again, in less than 30 seconds. Holy Schnikes, Batman! Now what? Not really knowing what to do, I took a picture of the test with my cell phone, for documentation purposes, in case I needed to tell Ross. Then, I went to work. I had two days of teaching to do, and no one to share my news with.
My last night in St. George, as I was eating a Chili's salad in my hotel room, and after I'd done a ton of research on babies and that word, using the Internet in my room, I told Ross that I had something exciting to show him when I got home. I knew for 3 days, in a far away city, the news that would change our lives, but I wasn't going to tell him over the phone. In fact, once I got the chance, I couldn't tell him face to face.
When I arrived home from my work trip, he was waiting for me, wondering what my news was. I couldn't say the word, but I could pull up the picture on my cell phone and let Ross figure it out. He was excited, and decided that me immediately must head to a Barnes and Noble and purchase books. We did that the next night.
As I was alone in the car w/ NPR a thought popped into my head. The more I kept trying to ignore the thought, the stronger it was. I was alone with that thought for about 5 hours, in the white mini van. The thought was a little terrifying, but the fact that I couldn't get it out of my head was even worse.
Once I arrived and unpacked a bit I decided that I couldn't deal with the thought anymore so I headed to Walgreen's to purchase a very important, life changing test to settle things once and for all. Luckily, I was alone, in a city a couple hundred miles from home, so I didn't worry too much about being seen or embarrassed. Still, I bought about $50 worth of stuff I didn't need just to be safe. I bought toothpaste, deodorant, a Glamour and US magazine and headed back to the lonely hotel room. It was just me, my purchases, and the fast food I picked up at an Arby's that was on the right side of the street.
I ate, flipped through the magazines, brushed my teeth and sat on the bed reading the test directions a million times. The package I bought had two tests and once I felt confident I knew what to do, I took the first test. I left it on the bathroom counter of my hotel room and waited patiently. It was only supposed to take 1 minute or less, but I waited 5 or so, scared to death of the result, which ever way it turned out.
The test I bought said the word for my potential condition. No blue lines or plus signs, but the actual word. After my 5 minutes were up, I walked into the bathroom, shaking a bit and completely sick to my stomach (That however, could have been the curly fries). I looked down at the test on the stark white counter top and...got the word. I had no idea how to react. I just stood in the bathroom for what felt like hours, staring at the results. I smiled a bit, got extremely sick to my stomach (definitely wasn't the curly fries), and threw the test away, deciding that it was a false positive and I'd take the other one in the morning.
Sleep didn't come so easily and after a rather fitful night, first thing the next morning, I took the second test. Rather than leave the room, I watched it countdown to give me the results. I got that word again, in less than 30 seconds. Holy Schnikes, Batman! Now what? Not really knowing what to do, I took a picture of the test with my cell phone, for documentation purposes, in case I needed to tell Ross. Then, I went to work. I had two days of teaching to do, and no one to share my news with.
My last night in St. George, as I was eating a Chili's salad in my hotel room, and after I'd done a ton of research on babies and that word, using the Internet in my room, I told Ross that I had something exciting to show him when I got home. I knew for 3 days, in a far away city, the news that would change our lives, but I wasn't going to tell him over the phone. In fact, once I got the chance, I couldn't tell him face to face.
When I arrived home from my work trip, he was waiting for me, wondering what my news was. I couldn't say the word, but I could pull up the picture on my cell phone and let Ross figure it out. He was excited, and decided that me immediately must head to a Barnes and Noble and purchase books. We did that the next night.
I still have a hard time saying the word, but I am very happy and completely in love with the results.
That, my friends, is a good day to remember.
2 comments:
What word?
Great post Annie! You made me cry. I hope you all are doing great.
Post a Comment