On Saturday Ross and I decided to go to a movie. It is important however to note that Ross and I not only have extreme differences of opinion on movies and are nearly polar opposites, but I want to state for the record, that I NEVER get to pick the movie that we see. If there is a film out that I am interested in I either see it with my sister or it is rented and I watch it alone. So, my Saturday night choices (we had not been to a movie since Thanksgiving when we saw, Walk the Line...Ross' pick) were DaVinci, X-men, or the one starring America's favorite crazy fruit, MI:III. Faced with the daunting task of picking from three winners I deffered to Ross and he settled on, DaVinci. I was less than thrilled but at least it starred "real" people, not mutants or celebrity scientologists.
It is also important to note, before I get into my thoughts on the film, that I am a realist when it comes to movies. I don't like the improbable, fanciful, or supremely imaginary. I only want to see extreme violence if it is heroic and war related, and I need to be able to believe the characters, otherwise it is a waste of time. With all this in mind, here are my thoughts.
- Who thought Forrest Gump would be good for the roll of le Professeur with long hair?
- Since when do Albinos have blue eyes?
- How can an elderly man who has suffered a fatal belly wound wander half way around le Louvre with a magic pen writing down secret codes and clues?
- Why must the blue-eyed albino constantly charge out of the darkenss with a knife or gun? How many times must he do this before it gets old. (A toss up here for MI:III...ripping of masks throughout the film or charging knife-wielding flaggelating monks).
- How is it that half-whit Americans who subsist off of CSI and Law and Order can not only always outwit the police in film, but can always out-wit French Police?
- Miranda vs. Arizona was an American case about rights when being arrested...since when do the British Police read criminals their Miranda Rights?
- Where is DaVinci? The only element of the great mind is in the random view of paintings in the museum and the small scene where Magneto talks about "The Last Supper"...rumor has it that the book has much more detail but shouldn't that have been in the movie as well?
- I am supposed to believe that a crippled professor orchestrated the whole thing? How did he know that the prof. would come to his house?
- If someone wants to shoot you, they will...a flock if pigeons isn't going to stop them.
- Like Forrest Gump wasn't going to throw the Cryptix into the air....
- Enough with the flashbacks already!!!!
- I am supposed to believe that a french cryptologist is not only happy and okay with the fact that she is the last living heir to Mary Magdalene, but that she is willing to stay with a bunch of strangers that covered up her life for 30 years and probablly killed her parents? yeah, right.
- 2 and a half hours? Come on!
I could go on, but I wont. A friend of mine challenged me a week or two ago to read the book, but to that friend, I must say, I am so sorry....I cannot. For, I saw the film and it did sucketh!