Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sometimes I'm not so sure.
When i woke up this morning to the realization that I would be spending my Saturday as a single mom, after a very long week, while the husband was off doing his thing wasn't real exciting this morning.
I was whiney.
And not very nice.
Luckily I talked to my mom. She helped us create a much better day than the one I had in store.
We went to my grandmas.
I love my grandmas.
There is just something about hanging out at my grandmas that makes me feel so good. As i was sitting on her porch soaking in some sun I got to thinking about how much I love just being around. Doing nothing in particular...just breathing in the sun and spending time some place you love...someplace you grew up at.
After a few minutes on the porch by myself I felt better. Wasn't grumpy anymore. Was not only okay with the way my day was turning out but was rather happy about it.
And spending the afternoon sitting in my parents living room on one couch with my brother on the other, texting classic movie one liners back and forth is pretty fun too.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Today was the Squirts two week doctors appointment (one day late of course).
weight: 9 lb 10 oz. (90th percentile)
height: 21.5 in. (90th percentile)
head: no idea but it's in the 50th percentile
My little squirt is doing awesome. He's drinking 4 oz. bottles every 3 hours or so and is sleeping great. He is my little zen baby. We are so lucky and so blessed. In fact, he's even sleeping great at night. For example, last night he drank a bottle (in the car in the parking lot at best buy) at 8:30. We got home from some errands, put him to bed and he woke up at 3:00 am. Can you beleive that? Awesome (knock on wood).
He is very alert and happy and content. He laughs in his sleep, and just gazes at people, when of course he's awake. I really did pray almost every day for 39 weeks and 3 days for a calm baby, not a screamer, and got my wish. This little guy is just such a blessing and a joy.
So is the two year old mind you. He's coming around on the big brother thing - that makes me SO HAPPY!
Yesterday was my first day alone as a mother of two. I survived. The boys survived. Minus some panic and chaos at lunchtime and the fact that I'm fighting the same headache I've had since Sunday afternoon, we did awesome. I was so proud of all three of us yesterday. When our dad got home, I did ask for a 15 minute repreave (an opportunity to "rest my eyes") before starting dinner.
I got my 15 minutes.
and an additional 45.
I had my 2 week check-up today, too. All systems go.
I can drive.
Still cannot lift anything heavier than my baby and cannot vacuum. But it's good.
told me (after complimenting his handiwork and my beautiful scar)
that I heal so well
I ought to have a third child.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
No home phone.
Just cell phones.
On Saturday, the e-mail stopped updating. That's happened before but is still quite frustrating.
Then my voice mail stopped working. Also okay because too many people leave me messages. Really, too many. Maybe if I answered the phone every now and then it wouldn't be a problem, but too many messages.
Regardless I wasn't getting any.
On Sunday the whole thing seemed to be on it's last leg - the Internet wasn't really working and the phone functionality basically stopped.
Yesterday, I couldn't call out. I could still text, but that was it.
My family had to call Ross on his phone.
I complained, and complained and complained.
Ross told me he would either "take my phone to work" leaving me phoneless for a day to try and figure it out or that we "could go tomorrow" meaning today to the At and t store to get it fixed.
Then it was my birthday party.
He got me a new phone.
Extrememly hipster and cool (also potentially acne, nerdy, and geek after seeing an iphone clad group at the training table for dinner last night who probably shouldn't have such neato phones, if you know what i mean).
I was shocked. And happy - for a new phone (and this one at that).
Now? I fit in with all my friends.
For an extra hundred dollars a month.
If only I new how to use it.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I have a new baby. I cannot belelive that I now live with three boys. I love them all.
The two of us are home alone, watching that Benjamin Button movie. Well I'm watching. The baby is sleeping.
Husband is gone. The Monkey is gone.
And I'm working.
I got on a scale yesterday and in the last two weeks I've lost 24 lbs.
Today, I have real ankles.
I'm going to make my own birthday cookies.
and maybe brownies, too.
Or, I might not make anything.
happy birthday to me.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Since there are two boys now, and life is crazy - they can share a special Friday post every once in a while and today is the first.
The Monkey has been sick all week - the flu and croup. To say the week's been awful is a huge understatement. Things are looking up though and even though he's a huge whiner still, my boy is cheering up a bit.
He has had no interest in the Squirt, his baby brother, for the entire week. This morning though, after I finished giving said baby a bath and both boys were on my bed, things were actually pleasant for a moment. No whining. No crying.
A little brotherly love - from one boy to the other.
All I can really say about this week? THANK HEAVENS we followed the pediatricians advince and didn't toilet train Elliott BEFORE the baby arrived. With all the regression, on top of illness we've been dealing with this week, the last thing I'd need would be a 2 year old peeing all over my house.
Oh, I love these boys.
It was cute.
I took pictures - just in case it never happens again.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
This is my cousin, Preston.
He's been on an LDS mission for the last two years in Argentina, the Buenos Aries Mission. Mostly though, he was at the bottom of the world, with the penguins.
He's been an excellent missionary. He got home today at 11 am.
The first thing he wanted to do on his way home from the airport was stop for a smothered burrito.
Once, when I was a teacher, Preston was my student for a year, and then my teacher's aide for his senior year. It's a bit crazy to have your cousin as a student, and as some one who helps you with your work as a teacher.
That year, Preston grew his hair long, got it permed, and spent a semester wearing sweat pants and moon boots to school, thinking he was Napoleon Dynamite.
It was pretty awesome.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It's been one week. Life is good, but overwhelming. I start crying every night around bedtime for no real know reason. My mom says meltdowns cleanse the soul - if that's the case, then I'm completely pure.
My dad has an upper respiratory infection. He's been sick for weeks now. My mom has "para" flu and has been sicker than she's ever been in her entire life. My sister was 'reprimanded' at work yesterday and treated like a 12 year old. Two weeks ago Ross took Elliott to the doctor and he had an ear infection. We faithfully administered the antibiotics until, well, you know we had a new baby one week ago today and the end of the antibiotics sort of went by the way side.
On Sunday night, the cough and fever came back. Ross took the Monkey to the doctor yesterday morning. The ear infection never went away. No better, no worse, but still there. That explained the cough and the high fever. We got a stronger drug for the boy and went about our day.
The boy was exhausted last night and asleep by 9 pm. In fact, both my boys were asleep by 9 - how about that? At 9:30 Elliott started coughing a terrible gut wrenching cough - and that severe of a cough in a little guy leads to one thing - puke! Luckily Ross got him into the bathroom. The puking and crying and coughing led to the most severe fever and cough ever.
meant one thing.
In my hormonal rampaging I freaked out. We called the pediatrician - she said that if we couldn't get the boy to drink (which we couldn't) then we needed to take him to the emergency room.
Long story short - Ross and Elliott were gone from 11-2:30 in the morning. They went to two emergency rooms. Once they finally saw a doctor, the doctor did nothing. They came home.
At 2:30, Elliott still hadn't had anything to drink. Ross proposed shaved ice. Not only did he stop crying, but he ate his entire grape shaved ice, drank a full glass of water, and by 3:30 am he was finally asleep. As soon as I went to bed at 4:00, baby Wyatt woke up.
I got to bed at 5:30 this morning. The sun was coming up and the birds were chirping. Everyone in our house was awake by 8 am.
Today though, things are better. My sweet boy has a cough, a slight fever and a raspy voice, but is doing better.
I am in love with my new baby boy. He is calm and content and smiles and laughs in his sleep. He only woke up twice last night. Can you believe that? A one week old baby that almost sleeps through the night. Crazy and heaven at the same time.
This new little guy is the most cuddly boy in the universe. He loves to be wrapped in blankets and snuggle and be held. I love it too. I find myself holding him all the day, because he just fits on my shoulder so nicely. And, holding him all night, because I cannot get enough of the little cuddle bunny.
Dad and big brother are doing well, too. They are so helpful. The Monkey loves his new baby. He is still a bit hesitant around him, and doesn't really want to touch him, but is very concerned when he cries, loves to see him awake, and always wants to shove a binker in his mouth.
My baby is struggling a bit with his new role as big brother, but minus biting uncle MeMe last Friday when we came home from the hospital, he's doing really well. He sings, "baby Wyatt is my brother" all day long and always wants to check on the baby and make sure he's okay. It's just about the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
Recovery from c-section number two has been a breeze compared to number one. I can move about well, no real pain, and even though I cannot lift anything more than 10 lbs, and can't drive for another week, I am happy shocked and amazed at how well I feel. Still need the happy pills, especially first thing in the morning, but minus the fact that my feet are maintaining their swollen status of a week ago, I'm moving in the direction of healing....and there isn't a better direction than that.
Friday, May 15, 2009
You know you're anxious to get home from the hospital when instead of letting the drugs keep you asleep all morning you jump out of bed, shower, get dressed and pack your bags before 7:30 in the morning.
Today is a wonderful day. Both Wyatt and I got the free and clear and came home a few hours ago. All the hospital staff took really good care of us during our stay, but there is nothing like being home to make someone really happy. Our dad had to go back to work and our Monkey is at grandma's so the two of us are just enjoying some quiet time before the chaos of life hits us for good.
Wyatt checked out of the hospital today at 8lbs 7oz which is still pretty good sized. He's had a few tummy issues but we switched him to soy formula yesterday and he's doing really well. And, he happens to be the cutest most chill little guy I've ever met and I am so happy to be his mama, and that he chose to be part of our crazy family.
(we've got a bunch more pictures up on flickr....just click on one of the images to see everything uploaded so far.)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wyatt and I are great.
He's been switched to soy formula because of a few tummy issues but is doing really well.
He's the cutest thing I've ever seen, next to his big brother of course.
More pictures later.
We come home tomorrow afternoon.
Did you notice I said WE COME HOME!
Couldn't be more excited.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
William Wyatt Howden was born at 1:39pm at St. Mark's hospital. He was 8lbs 15 ozs and 21.5". A big boy with lots of (suprisingly) dark hair. Same hospital, same room, same respiratory tech, same just about everything. William is a popular name from both sides of the family including two great grandpas, a great uncle, a 2nd cousin, and a 'great' uncle.
After Wyatt was born, he experienced some of the same breathing difficulties that Elliott did, so we made the same trip over to the NICU for a little bit of extended observation and sucking some more goo out of lungs / sinuses. As we walked into the NICU, we ran into the same nurse / doctor and they put Wyatt into the same bed where Elliott was just over two years ago.
Fortunately, this time around, baby only had to spend about 3 hours in the NICU (compared to 9 days), so he was able to come up to Annie's room / the nursery. Annie is doing fine and it was great to be able to hold the boy this time around.
"Attack of the Clones" - not just a bad George Lucas movie...
Hint - Elliott is the second picture.
Grandpa Howden brought Elliott to the hospital to meet his brother. He was pretty excited.
The hospital / experience has been great thus far - thankfully no extended NICU stays and we got to hold the boy on day one.
More updates forthcoming.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tomorrow is the day. If you would have asked me last week if I would make it (mentally, physically, emotionally) to this place right now I would have burst into tears and offered you some crazy words in the language of blubbering.
Today? Today is awesome. Today is so much closer to tomorrow than yesterday was. Or two weeks ago. Or September when I was wearing crazy pressure point wristbands pleading with my stomach to play nice.
Tomorrow I become a mother of 2. Two boys mind you.
The boy that is already mine; whom I love so much I can hardly stand it and when he gives me hugs these days and lets me sing him songs at nap time makes me cry.
And they boy who will be mine. Can you believe I get to be the mom (heaven help me!) to another one. Another chubby, squishy, adorable, bald baby boy.
Who will look just like his dad.
Who will pee on me.
And puke on me.
and smile at me.
A little over two years ago I was nervous and tense and a tad bit crazy about becoming a mom - and how that little baby would enter the world. And then when he was sick, I nearly lost my mind. My mom told me nothing makes you tougher than being a mom (and leaving your little squishy baby at the hospital and you go home without him) and she was right.
This time around? I know what to expect on all fronts and can hardly wait. I've been doing the math and Elliott was born 15 days early - leaving the hospital on the afternoon of his 10th day of life. Schnitzel has had the benefit of 10 extra cooking days and will be arriving 5 days early. I'm so hoping, as I think the rest of my family is, that those 10 days do the trick. That this boy can breathe and cry and do it all by his little self.
So, wish us luck.
And send good name vibes our way. We still don't have one for the little guy and aren't really pleased with Elliott's top three name choices, as seen in the following video.
Update: just got my phone call from the hosptial (9:40 am): my time for tomorrow sucks a bit, but it's 12:30 pm.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
High blood pressure, bad blood sugars two week early baby who was sick.
9.5 days in the NICU (ventilator, tubes, lights, iv's in the head)
I want to avoid that (this is in no way the worst picture - I choose not to look at those.)
what does that mean?
no matter what.
Fast forward today:
38 weeks and 4 days.
44 extra lbs. to carry around
no words to describe.
sporadic and VERY PAINFUL contractions.
lots of tears.
unpleasant ultimatum: Labor on my own or wait until Tuesday morning.
neither is appealing right now.
got permission for tylenol pm.
could have got ambien - should have for street value?
no - put me in a comma.
just took two ty pm - time for a nap
Side Note: Thank you to the grandma's and grandpa's and auntie and uncles who are helping me right now with the little monkey. I don't know what I'd do with out you. We love you guys!
I'll pay you back.
not today though.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
In the last little while, I've taken to referring to my husband as "dad". He isn't my dad, but it's just easier that way -
"go ask dad"
"dad - come here"
"dad - will you help us"
It makes communication in a household with a two year old much easier. We mutually agreed when we got married that we would never use cutesy names with each other and in 6 years, we haven't. He's always been Ross to me and I've always been Annie to him. No honey, babe, darlin', dear or any of that other stupid stuff that we hear people refer to their significant others as.
However, "dad" may be crossing the line a bit.
Regardless - today is his birthday.
And the Monkey and I love him very much and are very happy that he is our dad - and a mighty good one at that. I don't know what we'd do without him!
We LoVe YoU!
Sunday, May 03, 2009
My toes are numb.
My feet are swollen.
If I put on real shoes (not flip flops) they swell out and over the tops of my shoes. It's awful and ugly and squishy.
The swelling has come a little bit later than with the Monkey, but it's worse this time around. Think oompa-loompa.
Sleep is almost out of the question - because it's evasive and when I lay down to sleep the contents of my stomach try to get back out. And, trying to get back to sleep with restless legs, a husband who snores so loud it's bound to wake the neighbors and a little boy who coughs in his sleep is nearly impossible. So I've decided to spend my nights (generally Midnight to 4 am) in the basement watching movies. Good thing that Grease was on VH1 the other night - it saved me from crying out of total exhaustion.
I'm freezing my boys out of the house. All the windows are open, the heat is off, and it's a race for the blankets at night.
I cannot stand up straight, or sit for too long.
The funny thing is - it's all worth it. In a few short days (even though i tried to talk my doctor into a c-section a week early than we've already decided) I get to meet the little squirt.
And love him.
and hold him.
and smell his little baby head.
And figure out what to name him (we're still taking suggestions - we haven't got a clue what to name the kid).
Oh, I'm so excited.
And so are my feet. I cannot wait to see my ankles again.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Absolutely nothing. But, he may have a basketball under his shirt.
Will the Thrill is playing in an AAU basketball tournament for a high school that he will not go to. He is one of a few "white" kids on his team - the other boys cover the color spectrum. He is also playing for a team that is representing a "west side" school that doesn't necessarily have a great reputation.
The coach of his team is awesome - in a couple short weeks he has been able to mesh 12-15 boys together to form a cohesive team. They really play well together. They won their first game on Wednesday night and got the crap homered out of them in today's game. When no fouls are called on the other team except a mysterous technical foul on their coach with 5 minutes left and our team has enough fouls to put the other team in the double bonus less than 10 minutes into each half - then I smell foul. (ha, that's a pun)
Now - it's not my place to pick on officials - I have never been one - but I have experienced enough poor officiating in my life to know that the way our team was treated today was, unfortunately and pretty obviously because of the status of our school and the dominant color of our boys.
That just isn't fair.
In spite of it all, the boys persevered and tried really hard. And, my brother and his sweet post moves had an excellent second half. Good job Spartacus! Now if you can figure out how to use two hands to grab a rebound, you'll be unstoppable.