Thursday, January 07, 2016

The Mighty QUINN :: leaving his mom in the dust

Blew me off like, "your mom goes to college!" (Note: first time I've been home alone in 9 years)

Milestones.  There are so many firsts with a child, aren't there.  Some we photograph.  Some we lock in our memory.  Every single detail captured.  The smells, the conversations, the clothing, the feelings.  We try to remember everything before it just becomes a dot, a speck of dust in the grand scheme of our lives.  As a mom to three growing boys, I do my best to try and back off and let them live, while still taking as many pictures as I can, and capturing as much in my cruddy memory as possible.

Well, today was the day.  Today, my little buddy started preschool.  Everyone knows that this little boy has me wrapped around his finger, but I truly enjoy his company and like having someone with me every day.  But, he too must grow up and growing up he is, too fast if I may say so myself.

To say that I was nervous, is a gross understatement.  This boy of mine, he's nervous, like me.  He likes to stay home, with me.  He's never had a babysitter except for his grandparents.  He isn't the most brave in social situations.  But, I've been trying to avoid projecting my hangups onto him and just trusting him, that he can do it.

He went to sunbeams on Sunday after never staying in nursery for his entire life.  It was shocking and wonderful.  Ross and I were all smiles, all day.

Tuesday, we went to meet his teacher, meet the other kids, and do a mock one hour session of school.  He did great, but didn't stray too far from my side.  And, when we talked about going to school on Thursday by himself, he told me that he wasn't going to do it.  I've been nervous for days.

Today however, was the day.  We talked about school all morning and ironically, the episode of Wonder Pets he watched in the morning was about a puffer fish that didn't want to leave his mom to go to school.  When we had about 40 minutes before it was time to leave however, it was game on.  He got ready, found his bag, his jacket, his gloves, got his shoes on, went to the bathroom without a bribe and said, "Come on, Mom!  Let's go!"

We got to school 15 minutes early.  We did a mock run of the bathroom, just in case he needed to go at school.  I gave him the same talk I give the big boys before I drop them off every day: be good, be kind to everyone, don't pee your pants!  As soon as the teacher opened the door Quinn ran in, followed instructions by hanging up his coat and his school bag, and sat down to play with toys.  I stood there, like a dork, and realized it was time for me to go.  I had him give me a high 5, and I was out the door, back in my car.

I called Ross.  I started to cry.  My baby, in every single way, was now, officially a big boy and as happy and joyful as it made me, I was desperately sad.  I sat in the car for 5 minutes or so, just to make sure he didn't come running back out to me, and then I left.


I made sure to get back to school with plenty of time to pick him up.  When the door was opened, he saw me, smiled from ear to ear and ran out the door.  I had to send him back in to get all of his stuff and as I put his jacket on in the hall he said, so proud, "Mom, I did it.  I went by myself and I did it!"

Yes little buddy, you did.

you may have done it for a slurpee and a doughnut, but you did it and I couldn't be prouder.

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