Wednesday, August 08, 2012

35 weeks

Today's swollen feet brought to you by the letter "S". For this SUCKs!

35 weeks.  That's where the official ticker gets us today.  Up to right now, I haven't written much about this experience...probably because it's very similar to the other two.  But I thought, for the sake of documentation I'd share a few things.

The good:
*I'm 4 weeks away from meeting my third son.  This thrills me to no end.

*This whole process, minus being so slow (did you know that it only takes 60 days from start to finish for a baby polar bear to show his face?  Why can't I be a polar bear?), has really been very bearable for round three.  I feel super lucky.

*I'm still sleeping okay.  Not tonight of course because I'm writing this at 2:00 am with an absolutely insane and killer cold and I'm up because I cannot breathe.  But, honestly, I go to bed at night and except for some bathroom breaks, and said cold, I sleep right on through until morning.

*Even though I'm exhausted and feel so heavy that I might tip over, I can still do my regular stuff, albeit slowly.  My husband fired me from mowing the lawn a few weeks ago but I can still do laundry, dinner, make the beds, vacuum, plant flowers, pull get the idea.

*I'm starting to panic a bit about this kiddo like I've done with the other two about how well he'll be breathing when he's born.  I pray that he'll be okay, won't have an extended NICU stay and that we'll actually get to hold him, introduce ourselves to him, and love his squishy squeakiness the day he's born.  So far, things are going in the direction of healthy and I've got confidence that the grandma's in heaven are looking out for him (and me) and that everything will be okay.

The Bad:
Oh, where to begin?  Not wanting to use this forum as a complete complain session (I mean, I do get to keep the baby after all) I'll keep it brief.

*swollen ankles, worse than with the other two I think
*swollen feet
*numb toes (I've almost completely lost feeling in the three smallest toes on my left foot, ick!)
*nerve pain in my right butt cheek
*fat, fat, fat!  Did I mention fat?
*back pain
*using the bathroom like it's going out of style
*no longer able to get up from sitting on the floor
*constantly out of breath

You get the idea, right?  It's funny with this whole process how you go from feeling super icky, to feeling so "normal" that you forget there is a space invader living inside of you to quite literally all of a sudden feeling like you are so heavy and bloated and slow that you might tip over or that said space invader might fall out, like a paper grocery bag that is too full and starts to rip at the bottom.  Every day when I get down and feel a bit sorry for myself (which, lets face it, is happening more than I'd like to admit), I just remind myself that I get a baby.  That I get to pick his birthday.  That I get to hold him and love him forever and ever.

The Ugly:
Like I said, this third round of baby boy feels like in a lot of ways, it's been "easier" (knock on wood) than with the other two, but it's been so much harder, too.  Harder because there are already two of these little boys here to take care of.  Harder because this summer has been so insanely hot that I've got my thermos stat set permanently at 71 degrees.  Harder because quite literally, I'm losing my ability to walk.

But, the really worst part is all the appointments.  Finding someone to watch my kids while I go to two NST's (Non-stress tests at the hospital), my OB appointment, my diabetes appointment each week  is just overwhelming.  The amount of insulin I'm injecting into my arms and hips every day is astounding.  Weighing more right  now than ever in my entire life (or I ever will again) just makes me want to cry.

And, the two kids I've got already in front of me are driving me crazy.  You can cut their nervous energy with a knife and I'm not sure how much more yelling, screaming, hitting, bathroom talk (no, Wyatt, we are not naming our new baby diarrhea or port-o-potty) and general, "I'm being crazy but I don't know why" - ness I can handle.  Just wait until the baby gets here - then their really going to lose their minds!

But, the end is in sight.  I'm actually looking forward to the whole process.

And, I cannot wait to hold a sweet, squishy little boy, part of our clone army, in my arms and kiss his head as much as I want.

Jan 29.012
Elliott, 5 days old

baby wyatt
Wyatt, one day old

1 comment:

Emily said...

4 weeks! You got this. You can do it! In 4 weeks life will be different. It will be so much better! You are an awesome Mom. You will do great with all three of them!


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