Monday, August 20, 2007

A moment of clarity

Lately, I've been a little hard on myself and my life in general. Yes, I know, this seems to be the running theme of my world and a lot of my posts lately, but this morning, I had a brief moment of clarity that I wanted to share.

As I was finally eating my breakfast this morning, I sat down and flipped to a short article in my new Real Simple magazine, part of their monthly "life lessons" section. The title of the article Mind over Matter was intriguing and the article itself was good, discussing the importance of keeping out minds active and alert, as much or more so than our bodies.

The last paragraph was what really hit me: "I still do my yoga; I still eat right. But as the pictures showed me, the battle to maintain my youth is not a battle I will win. No one ever has. My mind, however, is like a bank account, and every investment I make seems to grow with a steady rate of interest. I am hoping that it will be there to keep me company as I age and that it will remain curious and agile. I'm working hard on it. And I do so love the work."

Here's the big DUH moment for me. I'll never be as thin as I think I want to be, or as rested, or as beautiful. I'll never quite have perfect enough skin, or ever fit into a pair of "skinny jeans". And guess what! That's okay. That isn't what is important in life.

I think what's been bothering me is related in the quote. I have started to obsess over "physical" things because my mind isn't as engaged as it has been in the past. As a high school history teacher, I thought I knew everything and most of my kids believed me. And if I didn't know, I quickly found out. I was up on current events, politics, the social scene...you name it, I knew about it and had an opinion to share. In the last few years though, as my job and life have shifted, I think that I've lost that thirst for knowledge. Well, haven't lost it, but definitely put it on the back burner. Lost are my thoughts of Master's degrees, college professor-ship, and living in a Tuscan Villa in exchange for diaper duty, cooking dinner and VH1.

Yuck! VH1? Can't I think of something better to do?

Yes, I think finally I can. Saying that I've been a little lost the past few months is an understatement, but perhaps finally, the epiphany (however small) has hit and it's time to take action, like I used to.

Wish me luck...I'm going to need it.


2 comments:

Tara said...

I have to agree with you. Fighting mommy brain is an ongoing battle. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don't. So, good luck and let me know what works for you. I could use a little help myself right now!

Anonymous said...

Good job! What are you going to do now? Do you want to sign us up for a Spanish Class?

Haley

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