This past week, my work computer has been broken, and at the office being reparied by Jill - the computer wonder woman. My poor little laptop needed: a new keyboard, mouse, battery, power cord, memory, and an upgrade to Windows 7. No wonder the machine wasn't working so hot.
Without a work computer however, "Working" this week has been left largely to my imagination. There is only so much I can do on my home, personal computer (thank goodness that most of my job responsibilities are housed online), and I've been sick for half the week - puking on Tuesday and feeling like crap ever since. It seems that the Monkey's illness hit me a week after him. Ick.
That being said, I've had some reflective time this week. I've been getting as much of my job done as I can, but I realized the other day that, SHOCK, my kids keep me really busy. I haven't really had a minute to myself (what mom does) all week, and even without my full load of 20 hours a week to work, I've been run ragged.
The boys take up so much time. It's good time, but it's a lot of time. Then add everything else I'm responsible for and a day is already jam packed.
What's my point? I guess my point is, that if I wanted to, I could be a full time stay at home mom - and keep myself busy every waking minute of the day. And instead of grading online classes, I could work on photo books, and photography, and bake and clean my house and plan means and do other things that interest me that I just can't seem to fit into the day.
But - and it's a big but - I like my job. I like the extra income it provides. I like interacting with adults - even though it's in a virtual world. I like the responsibility. I like keeping my "foot in the door" because you never know what can happen.
But - yes, another one - it is so hard sometimes to find balance. I WANT to do so much....but there just isn't the room to fit it all in. So, I pick and choose. I'm just worried sometimes, okay, all the time, that I pick and choose the wrong things. I am so lucky that I get to work from home, and be with my kids, but at the same time....
oh, you get the point, right?
You do? Good. Can you tell me what the point is?
I seem to have forgotten.
1 comment:
I know what you mean. I cut back to part-time (22 hours/week) after Isaac was born until we left Philly. Between the commuting, coordinating with babysitter and then trying to get all the other household stuff done... well, I was pooped. And there was no thinking of photobooks or baking or acting upon my interests. And I loved my job too, my work friends, being with adults, etc. But balance was never something I felt like I achieved no matter how hard I tried. I wasn't sure how I'd feel staying at home FT, and I'm not going to lie, it was an adjustment, but I have never ever regretted the decision. And now I have a lot of catching up to do on photobooks and other things I've wanted to do but my free time is MINE now. And I have what I've wanted most all along... BALANCE. Oh it's a beautiful thing. Do what's best for you, but staying home has been heaven for me.
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