Thursday, January 27, 2011
It's all about love....
I would be a very ungrateful grand-daughter today if I didn't share some of my thoughts about my grandma's funeral. This has been such an overwhelming and powerful week for me. I am so full of love and faith. I am awed and amazed. I wish every person I know could have been with me today to experience the power and legacy and impact of my dear grandma. She was more amazing than I ever realized.
Today was so special. Last night driving to the viewing, I told Ross that I had the kind of stomach ache that I'd only had three times every in my life. Twice, the day each of my boys was born, the day of my Grandma P's funeral and now, with my Grandma Huber. The viewing last night was overwhelming. Literally hundreds of people came to pay their respect to my grandma, grandpa, and my mom and her siblings. It was awesome to watch the reunions, the tears, the hugs, and the love that was present. My mom has reminded me so much of my grandma these last few days - taking care of the details, being strong, doing what has to be done, knowing everyone by name and making them feel important. I hope one day to be able to keep that legacy alive.
I am so thankful for my Aunts Karen and LeeAnn, my dad's dear sisters, who both hugged me and loved me made me cry tears of joy for their support and love. My friend Ann's parents who also made me cry - they loved my grandma. For my friend Makayla who did a last minute project for me so well, drove all over the valley on my behalf and dropped it off at my house early this morning. For my dear and life-long friend Codi who sent me such a sweet note in the mail today. It is wonderful to be surrounded by so much love. I'm a lucky girl.
Sitting on the third row today, in the chapel I spent my childhood Sunday's in, I was so at peace. The words my Aunt Cindy and my sister (oh I love my sister!) shared about my grandma were perfect. They couldn't have been more perfect. My grandma was awesome and they spoke of her in a manner that was full of wonder and awe, love and gratitude, humor and sincerity and generosity of spirit, body and mind. I knew that my Grandma was a wonderful person, but today, feeling her spirit sitting with me, protecting me, and loving me from heaven proved what I'd always thought. She was the best, most genuine lady around and every single person who ever had the opportunity to get to know her walked away with a buoyed spirit.
A week ago today, the boys and I visited my grandma. We talked, we laughed and when it was time to leave we gave her hugs and kisses and told her how much we loved her. That silly little Chick of mine even gave her two hugs and a kiss on the lips. He must have known something was up. It never crossed my mind last Thursday that this Thursday I'd be saying goodbye to her forever...at least forever in this life.
During this past week, I've wondered a lot about heaven. I've questioned my beliefs a bit wondering if I really will get to see my grandma's again. If there really is eternity. If I really believe everything I've been taught. And you know what?! After today I have no doubt that what I believe is true. That the lessons I've been taught in 32 years of church are right. I realized today that I have to believe it. That my faith must be strong because I'm desperate to have the opportunity to spend some more time with the people that I love. And I know that right now, grandma is working in heaven preparing the biggest party for all of us.
I am so sad. Sad for my mom, my boys, mostly for my grandpa. He's alone now. He and my grandma were childhood friends - married two months shy of 60 years. And guess what...if my grandpa can be sad and move forward then so can I. So can we...all 54 of us in the family.
Today was really special.