AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Wednesday morning, I was standing at the kitchen sink and noticed something strange out the window in the neighbors grass.

I looked and looked and looked and decided it was a dead bird.  A dead bird that was not in my yard.

I forgot about it.

Yesterday morning I was standing at the same kitchen sink looking out the same kitchen window and noticed something strange in my grass.

A dead bird.

The same dead bird that the day before had been in my neighbors yard.

How do dead birds move?

Thursday is "mow the lawn" day and after a morning of running errands I couldn't delay any longer.  I had to move the dead bird.  (I just threw up a little in my mouth)

I got a shovel, some gloves, a plastic bag and a rock (to hold the plastic bag open).  I also had two helpers who were SO EXCITED to see a dead bird ("Mom, I've never seen a dead bird before....can I help?")

I thought the bird would be stiff and I could just flick it into the bag.

The bird was not stiff.  It was squishy.

blahhhhhhhhh!

I got it in the bag, in the garbage and out of my grass.  I felt bad but knew that my grandma would be proud of me for getting rid of the bird (Internet, remind me to tell you the store of when my grandma picked up a snake in my yard while my mom, sister and I stood in the house and screamed!).

Fast forward.....

I noticed a little dirt pile when mowing the lawn yesterday afternoon that was a new dirt pile.  I didn't think anything of it.  This morning I walked past a big picture window in the living room and looked more closely at the dirt pile.  I took a picture and texted Ross this message:

I'm concerned about this pile of dirt.  It just appeared yesterday.  This morning I noticed a big hole in the pile.  Do you think we might have a critter?

Time out:  Why me?  Why does this stuff always happen to me?  It's all because he's going out of town for work....things are going to fall apart.  It's going to be like the movie the money pit when tom hanks walks into a room, onto a rug, onto a hole and falls through getting stuck for hours until Shelly long comes home to rescue him.

Just a little while ago I had to take some garbage out and decided to get a closer, but safe distance away, look at the hole.  I rounded the corner of the yard and was not only greeted by a pile of dirt and a hole, but a little critter venturing from his earthen home into my flower bed.

I calmly walked back into the house, cursing the critter gods, and grabbed my camera.  When a paranoid girl like myself see's such critters, it is best to document them for the husband who never believes me.

Once I showed the boys what was going on, the critter was a great baby sitter for a good 15 minutes.  Every time it came out, they banged on the window and yelled, watching it duck back into it's home. 

Why is it that every home I own must be invaded by critters?  Why?

I'll tell you one thing...I haven't worked so hard on my grass and flower beds so that they can be attacked by critters.

I'll tell you another thing....I'm terrified of critters and may not ever go outside again.